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Beth Austin's avatar

Anna, so much of what you say here resonates with me because it captures my lived experience - and surely this is true for many of of us who follow your substack.

What stood out to me in particular in this essay is when you say that your internal resistance to complementarianism/ traditionalism was not rooted in something contrary to your husband or to masculinity, but rather stemmed from an urgent insistence that something was true/untrue about yourself as an image-bearer of God. I have never thought to put it in such terms myself, but you are exactly right.

A personal anecdote that came to mind bears this out. Growing up in the 80s, my sisters and I went through a tape recorder phase. One silly episode when I was probably less than 6 years old was captured on tape and, since finding and listening to it again when we were teenagers, has served as source of endless amusement to all of us. Essentially, I was dividing up cookies among various sisters and dolls, and allotted myself 5 for no particular reason, but then noted that "women are soo-prior to men so that's worth another 5." While we all still laugh (and apply the rule whenever it applies!) a question that my family and I have pondered has been, why was that even a thought in my head at that age? Your observation that resistance to poor teaching on gender is a heart's cry for the human dignity we all deserve as image-bearers might be a reasonable guess as to why.

At the same time, this very issue has been the single hardest aspect of discussing the topic with men in my life - men who otherwise are caring, Christian brothers. It's as if they simply cannot see that such resistance (or even mere questioning) can possibly stem from anything other than rebellion against the way God made the sexes and decreed how we are to relate to each other.

What has your experience been in discussing these topics with the Christian men in your life? And, though theology probably isn't a topic most unbelievers are interested in, have you ever had opportunity to discuss any of these things with non-Christian men? If so, how would you characterize the difference on how such conversations went?

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Holly A.J.'s avatar

There is a serious theological problem with viewing women as inferior to men. Jesus was born of a woman and had no earthly father; yet he is the Son of Man, fully human and fully God. In denigrating women, the Church has run the constant risk of denigrating their Lord's humanity. Only by seeing both women and men both as human before seeing them in their reproductive functions, can Christ's humanity be fully seen.

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